- 01.09.2002 -
Sneak preview of upcoming storyline
First off if you regularly visit Detox at a specific time each day you may have noticed that the availability of new strips has been somewhat sporadic. Why? Well after catching up with my backlog of strips that I created a month ago I've had writers block. It's not easy making every strip funny. In fact most comic strip creators don't even bother but instead opt for a storyline split across multiple strips where at best you may be lucky to get a smirk out of one strip.
I did have this great idea for a series of comics. You already know that Detox is a series of pixelated templates that are cut and pasted into each strip and touched up to create your daily strip. The time most spent on the comic is in creating these templates. Once they are done they can be used over and over again. However, I can actually create much better pixel art than I currently do but it is time consuming. My idea was when I had a stash of strips that I could just churn out each day, I could use my time to create some stunning strips to show you what I can really do given time.
Of course this would be a one-off as like I said, it's a time consuming process. The storyline idea I came up with was that Hing is pissed off with his characters template and discovers that when he presses all the buttons down on his walkman at the same time he is transformed into a super flying anime bot. Think of Moldiver meats Gyver. He then proceeds to wreck havoc destroying all those that he wants to extract revenge from. Dave just manages to get away in his Supra by pressing the little red button on his gearstick that, funnily enough he's never noticed before, avoiding Hing's missiles in the process.
Meanwhile the rest of the guys hear what has happened. Wes turns into a transformer and JP gains the power of the exploding fist. With this new strength he takes on the mighty Pikatchu in order to wipe out his arch nemesis once and for all. Meanwhile at a secret location Dave seeks the help of a bunch of computer geeks ala Lone Gunmen style in their garden shed. This introduces 'The Doc' and 'Dark Knight' characters. Crusaders against all that is evil (spelt 'Microsoft').
With the help of his new friends Dave hopes to restore the Detox world back to normal before Hing manages to destroy existence.
- 02.09.2002 -
I miss Subways. No not those concrete structures that run under roads. I miss the Subway sandwiches I lived on while travelling. Sigh. I hear you can get them in London. Anyone fancy a day trip to London?
- 03.09.2002 -
Bits and Bobs and Odds and Sods
Project 'grow a beard' is coming along nicely. This sickness bug is still here after 4 days and the only thing I've managed to do to alleviate the boredom is to grow a beard. Can I be any more cool?
JP is threatening to write a rant column for Detox. Bring it on dude.
Wes releases web site version 767465373. Critics are giving 2000 to 1 odds against him keeping it updated beyond a week.
Contrary to popular belief I am not thinking about getting older all the time. True, I will be 30 this Saturday but I do think about other things like sex, the weather, beer and sex.
After admitting I miss Subways Black Knight kindly inundates me with the URL that will pinpoint the nearest outlet to me. Can I be arsed to drive to Newcastle though? Actually I don't think I've ever been to Newcastle even though it's only up the road. I have been to Sunderland however. Maybe that's one of those things you are not supposed to share with others.
Spent the day customising my CV, learning the names of agency reps and explaining why I can do job X with my hands tied behind my back because I am so over qualified. Job hunting sux.
I talk to Eon for the first time in over a year this evening. He's doing fine. Combined with an email from Koony about the days of old I trip on Amiga nostalgia for about 5 minutes before applying for the next job.
I sneaked Pikachu into one of my comic strips and had absolutely no threatening emails from Doc Ziploc or Black Knight. I don't even think Anna noticed either. Maybe they have grown to like the little yellow Pokemon? Maybe they are even watching Hamtaro on Fox Kids? All those furry little anime hamsters. Naw.
There's a cool song on the cable music channels at the moment called 'It's just porn mum' by Trucks. I flick through all ten music channels until I find it then turn it up when mam is doing the ironing. She appreciates it really.
My hit count is up these last few weeks and no threatening emails from Geocities/Yahoo either. No word from Keenspot as to whether they will host my comic. Maybe its time I got my own URL. Even I forget how many underscores are in my address.
- 05.09.2002 -
2 days to go..
Day 5 and I'm still ill so I head to the Docs to see what's up. Its tonsillitis. Great. He tells me it will be 4-5 more days before I'm recovered. So that's after my birthday then.
- 06.09.2002 -
Today is a good day as not only does JP and Anna's postcard finally arrive but the travel insurance company finally pays up for the emergency dental treatment I received while abroad. Nice one.
- 07.09.2002 -
30 Today
My sister came around yesterday and she wanted to use my PC to log onto the internet to check out this web site a friend had told her about. Its called 'Friend's Reunited' and allows you to look up your old school friends and to add your name and info about what you've been up to since you left school. There were about 144 pupils from her year that had so far registered. Suffice it to say, I did not get access to my computer for well over an hour until she'd read how they were all doing.
When I did get access I decided to look up my old class and was surprised to find that 103 had registered. None of them were from the group I used to hang with but I did remember a lot of the names so I clicked through the list and discovered that most of them are actually doing very well outta life. Doctors, technicians, managers, buyers, DJs, etc. One or two married their childhood sweetheart and the others married from far and wide. A few have kids too. They've travelled a lot and had a whole lot of fun.
I'm actually pretty happy for them. I wrote a brief update on me and logged off. Later I got to thinking. Most of them had only just registered recently because they were all turning 30 and wanted to say hi to all those that they grew up with. Being one of the oldest in our year I'll be one of the first to turn 30. Do I feel any different? Hell no!
Also a big hi to Doc Ziploc, a long time pal of mine who shares the same birthday as me. His character will be starring in Detox pretty shortly. Have a drink for me tonight mate!
- 09.09.2002 -
If you haven't already, go see 'The Bourne Identity'. It was released the day I was leaving New York and it's only just arrived on the cinema screens here in the UK. It was worth the wait. Matt Damon proves he can lead an action movie.
Tip: Don't do what I did and drink a few cans of red bull in the cinema. I got home, churned out some comics, tweaked the web site and wrote a few notes for possible comic storylines. And I'm still not tired!
- 19.09.2002 -
Catch up
Ok so there have been no new comics for the last few days. Don't worry its only temporary. I have decided to take a break from Detox for a week so I can devote more time to looking for work and life in general. The following is a kinda rant-come-ramble about everything and anything that is on my mind at the moment.
Wedding bells
Well I managed to lose almost two stone before the wedding, which I was chuffed about but I was usurped by the bride, who I had not seen in little over a year. Kaye had lost so much weight and looked pretty amazing. I was well impressed. So impressed that when she informed that all it took was exercise three times a week and sensible eating combined with pure determination, that I decided to endeavour further to loose the rest of what remains of my beer belly.
So anyway, I lost enough weight so that I could fit into my suit, which I haven't worn since my last job interview (1999?). It saved me having to buy another suit that will just gather dust in my wardrobe. Mind you, saying that, I hear that casual Friday's has been phased out and that guys in the IT industry are wearing suits these days even when all they do is tech support.
Anyway, the wedding day. After printing out how to get to my hotel via AutoRoute and driving the 175 miles south, I met up with Hing, JP and Anna after chatting to the receptionist and persuading her to allow me to check in early. We four went into town to grab a bite and to well, just have a walk I guess. Then we got all done up and caught a taxi to the church.
I won't ramble further. I'll just summarise. Great ceremony, nice walk (he he), beer, food, speeches and er.. a confession I am not going to forget anytime soon. And then JP, Anna and Hing surprised me with a belated birthday surprise in the hotel bar later on that night. Thanks guys! I'll put the 15-year-old malt to good use. ;o)
The next day after checking out we grabbed lunch in town then before long it was time for us to head our separate ways again. I'll be seeing them again in a few weeks so its not so bad. The ride home was uneventful apart from some guy in a black sports car trying to race me. Maff, if you are reading this, 136 my arse! Try 145 and climbing!
Detoxification process
The weekend had generated some ideas for the comic strip so I'm pencilling them down first and trying to work out a good story based on the feedback I received and peoples opinions on who the killer should be this time. I've come up with a few twists to keep you guessing!
I've been trying to think of ways to improve the comic and I just kinda got stuck on the idea that I needed to 'define the comics direction'. To many business seminars I guess. Who says a comic must have a direction? Where's the fun in that? So the 'about' storyline kinda warped into a 'oh my god who's the killer again?' storyline. Much more fun for me. Just as fire cleanses the forests to allow new growth, I wipe out the characters so I can start again. Not with v6.0 however, that requires a major change and other than a few needed tweaks, I am happy with the current templates.
When I get around to it I'll update the about page to include info on each character and their profiles. This will explain each character in the Detox universe. Storyline wise, all you need to know is these are a bunch of people in the IT industry. There's no set location like an office or company. We won't be reviewing every new product on the market or mention all the latest IT news. I'll just poke fun at whatever I find amusing at the time. When I can I'll try to make the storyline flow. Maybe. ;o)
Double oh-my-god agents
That said, I've been spending more time away from the computer, only to log on when I need to deal with CV requests and agents urgent emails. So please accept my apologies but I really do have a life and Detox although fun to do, does come after looking for work and my girlfriend. Although if you were to ask her I'm sure she'd tell you that the computer comes first.
Luckily I read some articles over on the 'Contractor UK' web site before dealing with agents and I was forewarned. Some of these people are complete time wasters believe me. They get your CV from Jobserve or similar site and then they email you saying that you have been added to their database and although there is no hits on your CV at the moment, could you take a moment to email them with who you are having interviews with so we don't send your CV to them? Bollocks! What they want is info on who is hiring so they can submit some of their own CVs to compete against yours. They even call you up, not about a job but to find out who has been talking to you. More fishing. They say its so several agencies don't send your CV to the same employer as the employer will discard them. Utter rubbish. Sigh.
So on occasion the lack of a job does get me down. I was walking the dog yesterday (if I have to get fit, the dog can at least benefit) thinking about job-hunting strategies and feeling a bit down. As it often does, my mind began to wander and before long I remembered the exhilaration I felt driving a quad bike through the rough terrain of New Zealand. I remember the fun I had in Las Vegas and the strange conversation I had outside a bar on sunset strip with a pool hustler, an Ozzie and an english girl. I recall a bar in Paris where a bunch of complete strangers got drunk together and forgot their differences. I remember swimming a gorge on a beautiful day in the outback of Australia and sitting in the water with a beautiful french woman talking about life while rainbow coloured fish swam around us. It's when I recall these memories that I don't care that I'm unemployed at the moment. I would not give up taking off and going around the world for anything.
The girl next door
For some reason that I can't recall, FHM kept popping up in our conversation this weekend. So I went out and bought a copy. It has a supplement entitled 'FHM High Street Honeys 2002 : The UK's 100 Hottest Girls Next Door'. Apparently FHM are offering a modelling contract to the winner. The gist is that 100 girls next door photos are on display for us horny guys (and gals) to vote over. After perusing said periodical I find that my vote must go to No.2 Georgia Prosser. And not because she is a cartoonist but because of personal preference. So which one do you prefer?
Oh, No.59 lives around the corner from me.
Skillz
In other news. I made a list of skills that I need on my CV to get more job opportunities. It was a pretty long list containing a lot of skills I have already and some that need a refresher course such as C++ and Java. The others I've decided to obtain cheaply. Rather than go on these £800+ weekend courses I'm building a couple of PC's up which are going to be teaching aids. Kind people are lending me Windows 2000, Windows XP and Linux, which are OS's that I have yet to familiarise myself with. These will be installed on these boxes along with Oracle, VB and PERL. It will be a steep learning curve but I've managed to order the manuals and 'Learn X in 21 days' books via the library. Well I am not forking out £30 a book now am I?
Round the world gallery
A few of you have emailed me asking what has happened to the 'RTW photo gallery'. Well the gist is that I am nearing the maximum allowed user space allowed via this host so I am leaving the remaining space for new comics while I arrange for Detox to be moved to another host.
- 19.09.2002 -
Complex development
OK what is up with the world today? Is it trying to tell me something? Well I'm not listening goddammit!
It's a nice morning as I head to my car to head home. The bin men are out collecting the rubbish. I pass one and recognise him from school. 'How's life?' I ask. 'Good. Married with kids now' he replies. Now there's a conversation stopper. 'Great. Take care' I say as I continue to my car.
Now this was a really good friend of mine who left school early because he had a break down. He couldn't handle large crowds and just could not talk to people he did not know. Now here he is married with kids?
On my birthday I received a card from my cousin with a footnote. 'By your age people are usually married and having kids'. I searched but could not find a smiley. Is she joking? So there I am last night watching TV with my girlfriend and there's a program on called 'Men who pay for sex'. They are interviewing these 20 year old lads who are rating these girls and one says 'she was quite old, 30 I think but she works out so she did not look as old as she is supposed to be'. Thirty is not old goddammit!
I think I'm developing a complex.
1998 To do list finally completed
For a long time on my 'to do' list is the chore 'build a Linux box'. I finally decided to pull my finger out and gathered together a monitor, case and several boxes of computer parts from about 5 donor machines. After gathering together enough essential parts (did you know that JEEP stands for 'Just Enough Essential Parts'?) I began to put together my K6 233MHz based machine. First problem was an incompatible PSU. My 235W PSU, still boxed, never used was not compatible with the case. Luckily the 200W PSU still in the case worked.
Added 64MB SIMM RAM, 4GB Fireball HD, floppy, 24x CD-ROM and attached the keyboard and mouse. It booted first time and the BIOS recognised all the components. This motherboard was last used in 1998 and the clock was up-to-date!
The HD was pre-configured with Win98 so repartitioned the drive and gave Windows 1GB and Linux 3GB. Several hours later and a few hiccups and Red Hat Linux 7.2 was installed. The machine now dual boots into either Windows or Linux. Its up and running and is sat next to my main machine.
Fairs fair
Its that time of the month again. Yep, time to go to the computer fair. I'd removed a CD drive and the old soundcard from my main machine and placed it into the Linux box. So I needed a new soundcard.
The fair entrance fee had gone up to £4! I was supposed to buy a load of stuff for friends Playstation's but for the second time running there was no one selling stuff for the PSX anymore. I walked around, found the best prices and made my purchases. I picked up a SoundBlaster 128MB OEM soundcard for £12; Harmon/Kardon speaker set for £9 and a spool of 50 branded Traxdata 16speed CDRs for £7.50. Not bad I thought.
It's for you
One thing I did notice at the fair was there was a lot of stalls dealing with mobile phones. A few guys were selling covers for the popular models including keypads and aerial add-ons. Someone was selling accessories such as laptop link cables. Another guy was offering to unblock your phone. Is this legal?
Now I felt out of date here because over the last few years I've gotten bored with phones and the only reason I own a mobile is because my girlfriend gave me it so she can reach me at any time of the day (sometimes it turns its self off all by itself, honest). Not long ago I was the exact opposite where phones were concerned. Now phones have become this must-have trendy gadget that every man and their kid must have. You can change the covers, keypad, LCD light colour, aerial, reprogram it, play games on it, link it to your other gadgets and even talk to it.
What's yous called?
Chips
Another reason I was at the fair was I had to price up a new system for a friend. They want a decent PC for their kids for Xmas but don't want to pay shop prices. I made a list of the essentials and then wrote down the best prices on offer and added it up. It came to £370 if you are interested.
One thing I noticed as I looked at the prices was the CPU names like Coppermine, Palomino and XP. Isn't that an OS? I felt out of date with current technology so I logged on to good old Toms Hardware Guide and caught up. I see we've broken the 2GHz CPU barrier then (oh look Mam Dave's so-out-of-date). The XP turned out to be the new Athlon on the block.
Dreamcast
The same person who wanted a system priced up also wanted me to take a look at his broken Dreamcast. Now I've never really messed around with one of these consoles before. After poking around in its innards and failing to find anything wrong I logged onto the console repair forums and had a lesson in the not-so-popular SEGA offering.
It appears that there is a common problem with the DC. On the controller board there is a resistor known as 'F1'. This has a habit of blowing now and again. There were so many people with this common problem that repair stores have come up with an 'F1 repair kit'.
If you want to know the signs that you should look for if you suspect a blown F1 it's the fact that when you boot your DC it asks you to enter the date and time but your controllers won't respond. How do you fix it? £30 at a repair store or £1 from Maplins if you are any good with a soldering iron.
- 26.09.2002 -
A problem has occurred..
While waiting for Windows XP to arrive I decided to upgrade my test box from Win98 to Win98SE. It went as smooth as silk. I later noticed that my main system was only running Win98 so I decided to upgrade that to. Now I figured that since it was running fine on my test box it would be fine on the main system. What I did not take into account was the differences in hardware specs. The problems then started.
The new system utilises APM/ACPI and for some reason the machine kept crashing if I tried to reboot/shutdown/reboot to DOS. According to Microsoft it was to do with the fast shutdown process being disabled in Win98SE. There is a bullet point list of things to try to get it to shutdown as before. So far, none work.
Then there are the slowdowns. For instance, if I play an MP3 my browser slows down and the MP3 plays jerkily. Other applications are slowing down as well. Argh! And a week before my first LAN party too. I was worried that my 3-year-old system was going to be too slow but this is just not funny. And don't get me started on the fact that creating comics is a nightmare as the ellipse tool causes PSP to crash every tenth speech bubble I create. My kingdom for a stable working environment!
To add to the problems Linux wont boot anymore. This took me a while but I found the problem. The Windows 98 partition had become the active partition again and not the Linux one with LILO installed. WTF? Did the Win98SE installer do this? The computer can now dual boot again.
Both the test box and main system are linked together but when I tried to add a laptop to the mix that my girlfriend had asked me to upgrade then further problems started. That's last night wasted anyway. Suffice it to say I learned that the CD drive in the main system and the CD drive in the test system will read certain CDs only. So you can guarantee that some software that needs to be installed in system X will be on a CD that only system Y's CD drive will read. Bollox to this lark. As soon as I get some money I am going to build a new system from scratch for myself.
David Kei
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